Is It Going To Be Love Or Loss?
by Lovin' The Vamps
Summary: Everyone knows that Esme want's a child, but to what lengths will she go to have one? And how would Carlisle react to babies? How would all the teens react? How would this even happen? Magic, Love, and Answers is what you will find in this story! First FanFiction, be nice! I am starting this story up again! Chapters to come!
1. The Visit

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize!**

**Okay so I am coming through and revising these chapters and then I am going to continue the story! So, nobody inspired this chapter, it was just something I came up with when I was 13, so I hope you enjoy please review, and criticism is welcome, please no flames. **

**Okay I'm done with the rambling on to the story!**

_Esme's Point of View_

Carlisle proposed to me again last night, oh I am so in love with that man. It is going to be the twelfth time in our long existence and it feels like the first time. The weddings are always so beautiful, and the honeymoons so extravagant Carlisle knows how to treat a girl, I tell you! I can't say I love being there the whole time though. A lot of people bring they're young children and babies.  
Oh how I long to have a child, its a fatal wish. Having a human child would just put us at a bigger risk and to create a immortal child, that would be against all morals I have. But there is always that though in the back of my mind, of Carlisle, myself, and two little children, a boy and a girl, sitting in the back of a beautiful cottage next to river. The children are beautiful. The boy, he has carmel colored hair and beautiful blue eyes while the little girl has blond hair and striking green eyes, they are both pale.  
It is a hopeless dream, to dream of having children with Carlisle. Carlisle has searched and searched but has never found anything, but that's to be expected.  
Vampires are infertile.  
I envy the women that can have children of they're own. The women that can grow old and watch her children grow older, have children of they're own. I always feel terrible, thinking those thoughts, purely because I am blessed. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, 5 beautiful children, and life. If I hadn't become a vampire, I would of had none of that.  
On another end, I feel sad for Carlisle. When I visit him at the hospital, I see how he look's at the babies when we walk past. I know he longs for one as well. He also deals with me, talking about them all the time and such.

"Oh Carlisle wouldn't a baby just cheer the place up a bit?" I had once said.

I never realized how and if it would impact his emotions. It has, He has been doing more research than ever lately.  
As I mull over my thoughts of babies and wedding planing, I hear a voice.

"Esme." A high pitched voice called.

"Who's there? Where are you?" I called from the room I was in.

"Esme, I am in the study, and I would love to speak with you," The girly voice called.

I was panicking, the person obviously didn't fear me, they also knew who I was. I am a vampire, but I can't give away my secret.I think they already knew. I slowly exited the room and went down the hall. The study was near me now, with the door cracked open a bit, There was a very bright light inside from what I could tell. I reached out and pushed the door open. It was extremely light inside and I had to cover my eyes, as I did so the light grew softer.

"Sorry, " The little voice whispered to me.

I looked up and sitting in the main chair of the study looked to be a teenage girl who was shimmering in a beautiful golden cloud. She had long, curly sandy colored hair, big blue eyes, toffee colored skin, and a beautiful smile.

"Who are you?" I didn't wait for the pleasantries.

"My name is of no value, for you will not know it. You may know me by Mother Nature, though I only look to be a teenager, do not let that fool you. I bet you are scared right now, for I hold no scent, no sound, besides my voice, I hold almost nothing." She said, in her whispery voice.

She had hit the nail on the head, I was scared out of my wits! I had never met a being like her, she was right. She held no scent, The only thing I could hear from her was her voice, it was like she wasn't there!

"What are you doing here? In my house?" I say, not trying to be rude, but I needed to know. Was she here to hurt me? Or my family? Was she a friend or foe?

"Ah, Esme, I am not a threat, to you, to anybody. I am here to help you. You see, I have watched you. For a very long time actually, and I must say, you truly have a heart of gold!" She smiled that beautiful smile again.

I may not of known her, but her saying that made my heart swell, she just had that aspect to her. She was like a kind mother.

"Thank you, dear." I smiled."But what are you going to help me with? I have almost everything." I replied.

"Ah, but what is one thing you want most but cannot have? I cannot answer your question directly, Love, but I will leave you with this. downstairs, in your kitchen will be a small packet. In it will be instructions. Please be wise with it. I will be back, Dear. I bid you goodbye now." With those final words she smiled and disappeared just like that.

"Wait!" I cried, but it was already to late, she was gone.

I slowly walked to the door and down to the kitchen. Sure enough on the counter was a small packet. I walked over to it and opened it. Out fell a note and a little baggy with 4 small pills in it. I read the delicate script out loud.

"My dear, I am going to make your dreams come true. Take one pill now, take the next pill before your honeymoon. I will inform you when to take the others. My dear, if you choose not to do this, you may regret it. These pills, my dear, are magic. They will give you the baby you were never able to have. The choice is your." I finished the note quietly.

Would I trust this? Her? The thoughts were too good to be true, i quickly swallowed the pill, not thinking about what may happen.  
Only after I had taken the pill did I realize it could poison me, kill me. I felt fine, for now I guess. As I picked the things up, to take them to my personal room, I felt a wave of pain in my abdomen, I rushed to my personal room and set the things in a drawer that had a key, and locked them up. out of sight, out of mind. The pain hit again and I ran to that bathroom, and I threw up. Only I had nothing too throw up, so I was just dry heaving. I also started to feel something, something like hunger?  
I walked back to the kitchen which was stocked in case of visitors. I grabbed a bag of Cheetos and tried some, and get this, they weren't half bad!

"Intresting" I muttered to myself, as I was hit with a new feeling, like I was exhausted

As I threw the bag away, I can't even believe I ate the whole bag, I started walking to Carlisle and I's bedroom. I laid on the bed, closed my eyes, and simply fell into a dreamless sleep.

End.

* * *

**Alright, how was it? Love it? Hate it? You tell me, I know I really didn't have anyone but Esme, but the next chapter will have everyone you know and love except Bella and Carlisle. Carlisle will obviously be in the story but Bella may not be in this story, don't be upset! This is a story about Carlisle and Esme, Edward can be mate-less in this story. Oh well!**

**I hope I get some advice and some nice reviews.**

**I _am_ continuing this story, there is not a set date, but I am.  
**

**-MeganElizabeth a.k.a LovinTheVamps**


	2. Visions

**Woo! I am really pumped about starting this story back up! I just finished rewriting the first chapter, and I think it is truly wonderful. Way better than the original. The original really sucked, my grammar was horrible, and the rewrite probably has a few mistakes too, but I am fifteen, so sue me! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and everyone who has stuck to this story. I am a terrible person making you wait like, two years. but I will make it up to you I promise!**

**Now let's get to the story, shall we?**

_Point of View-Alice_

At the moment I am in my free period at school, in the court-yard with many other students thinking about the visions I'd been having.

To say I was shocked is an understatment. On and off all day I have been having mixed signals and visions of Esme, in one she was doubled over in pain, in another she was in england, while everyone was worried and scared about where she is. In each of them, she was holding her stomach and it seemed that she was glowing. I am very confused to this, as vampires can't get pregnant. Esme has wanted a baby since she was human, but with no chance, she barely speaks of it anymore. When she does, the pain in her eyes make all of us sad. It's sad, to see your mother in such emotional pain, even Rose doesn't feel that upset. I have never longed for something that I couldn't have, so I don't really know her pain. As I think that final thought I am hit with a vision.

-Vision-

Esme is twirling around on the beach of her island like no tomorrow. Its easy to see how happy she is! Oh how she laughed! It sounded just like bells! She was positively glowing!

"Thank you! Thank you for everything!" She cried." I can never repay you, but thank you!"

Carlisle soon walks into the picture, dazed, but happy. He picks up his wife and kisses her deeply.

-End Vision-

I am dazed, but I sense Edward walking fastly toward me. I shake my head and quickly start playing the ABC's through my head. I wasn't sure if I should let Edward in on this yet. I wanted to know what was going on before I told the others.

"What the hell was that, Alice?" Edward said, upset.

"Edward, I haven't a clue what your talking about?" I replied dumbly. I didn't want him to panic. Panicky Edward was an angry Edward.

"Don't you dare play dumb with me Alice. I want to know what that vision was and I want to know now!" He spat angrily.

"I don't know what they are, I am trying to figure it out. Don't be an asshole!" I spat back, he was defiantly getting on my nerves!

"They? As in plural? Why are you keeping this from me? Us? Don't you think we deserve to know Alice? Something is obviously up. It could be good or bad." He spoke softly, but he was still clearly upset.

I was starting to see where he was coming from. She was his mother too. She was the rock in our strong family. She kept us grounded.

"I am sorry Edward. I just wanted to figure it out before I panicked you guys about it. I see your point though." I spoke even softer to him.

" Will you show me the other ones? Please, Alice." He spoke.

I showed him the visions, saving the last one. That one would cause him major distress. I know it did for me, it made me fall to my knees in worry.

"Is that all of them?" He spoke again.

"No. But fair warning Edward, this one is is scary.." I spoke, with fear in my voice.

"I don't care. . ." He spat. He was very upset with me for keeping these to myself.I was actually a little scared for my well being.

-Vision-

Esme was sitting on the ground, clutching her stomach. She was screaming in pain and nobody would help her, why wouldn't anyone help her?

"Please!" She cried, it was one of the most heart-wrenching sounds you had ever heard.

She was crying, actual tears coming out of her eyes. Her eyes, they were beautiful. One was her normal striking gold, the other though, a striking green.

-End Vision-

"YOU KEPT THAT FROM ME?" Edward roared the question, gaining glances from the other students in the courtyard.

"Quite down!" I muttered. Edward was having none of that and yanked me away into a empty classroom.

"She is my mother and you kept that from me because you wanted to figure it out?" He bit out. Pain was evident in his eyes.

"Edward. Stop this. Look at how your reacting! This is why I didn't want to tell you!" I was about to start sobbing. How did it turn out like this? Why is Edward so angry at me? What was wrong with Esme?

I finally broke. I was sobbing, Not quietly, might I add. Soon Jasper was in the room, and he looked vicious.

"Alice, Love. Whats wrong?" He asked gentally.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I was terrified. What was happening?

"Edward? Mind telling me what happened?" Jasper asked worriedly.

Edward didn't speak. He was finally processing the reason I didn't tell anyone about my visions. Something was terribly wrong with our mother.

"Edward, I swear to god if you did something to Alice, I won't hesitate to kill you." Jasper was threatening now. He wanted to know what was wrong with us. But neither of us could speak up.

Just as Jasper was about to punch Edward, Emmett rushed into the room closely followed by Rose.

"JAZ! What the hell dude?" Emmett said, as he pulled Jasper off Edward.

"Something is wrong with Alice" Jaz explained quickly.

"Well, obviously somethings wrong with Eddie too, Jaz" Rose spoke.

"Sorry." Jaz muttered.

I was still sobbing. Edward still in his daze. I tried to stop, so I could tell them what was on our minds.

"Esme" Was all I could manage to get out before sobbing again.

The group of teens looked around at each other before they realized something major had probably happened to Esme. Jasper quickly helped me to the car while Rose and Emmett helped Edward. As they were all settled in they quickly left Forks high to get home. Everyone in the car was panic stricken, I could tell. We were almost home, when I was struck with another vision.

**_~End_**

**Alright! Another Chapter rewritten in one night! I am super happy, I might start working on the next chapter tomorrow! Whew. Maybe not. Finals are this week. Boo. Anyway, Please review! Tell me what you liked and disliked! Well it is 12:20 am here so I am going to sleep! Goodnight all!(:**


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